I wish I could say I was okay with it. It’s been an inevitability for years. My father dying that is. He isn’t a healthy person, mentally or physically. Our relationship died a few years ago but now he will die too. Most likely in the next few months. He’s homeless, and apparently almost blind. I only know about his fate from people that tell me. I don’t know if I’ll go to the funeral. My relationship with him was complicated. My relationship with his family is even more so. I don’t know what I’ll do when the time comes. 21 years old. That’s how long I’ve been on this earth. It seems so minuscule when comparing it to this inevitability. As if I blinked and jumped into the future. Now all I can do is start preparing. Preparing for the emotional toll it may bring and will I be there. Will I say goodbye for the last time in the back aisle of the service? Or will I find closure away from the chaos? It was always inevitable. But inevitable doesn’t always make it easier.